When Peter and I signed up to be Foster Parents, we were sure we knew what we could and couldn’t handle. We checked certain boxes and we left many blank. When we looked at the list of preferences, we had many. I know that I felt ashamed saying I didn’t think I could parent a child with this or that. Ultimately we were afraid of watching a child suffer or struggle with big medical issues. We didn’t think we could handle it.

We were smacked in the face with reality when we parented and loved our three girlies. And when they went home to their family, we thought, “Well there it is, the hardest thing we have ever done. And we survived it! It’s all smooth sailing from here!” Basically we were big dummies.

We never talked about it before adoption, but Phoebe has had some mystery medical issues that became evident when she was just a newborn. I took her to countless doctor appts; she saw OT, PT and Feeding Therapy. We intervened early and often. While the extent of her medical struggles are still unknown, we have seen her come incredibly far! One thing is certain, we didn’t check the boxes with her qualities. But we loved her through them; we did it when we didn’t think we could.

Now we face big scary medical things with our boy Geo. Things that we never checked on that preference list. Things that Peter and I said that we could never handle. It turns out you have no idea what you can handle until you’re “handling it”. In foster care, you don’t know what your kids need until you get to know your kids. The three sentence description that the placement center gives you when they call to ask you to accept placement, doesn’t actually encompass all the qualities of your child. Shocker!

My perspective is an earthly one. I can only see what’s in front of me and I certainly can’t see what’s inside me. I serve a God that has a HOLY perspective. He knows how He made me and Peter and He isn’t worried. Because the qualities that serve us well navigating this stuff, are far off from the qualities I thought we needed to have. As for me, it turns out I didn’t need to be a mom that had it all together, I need to be a fighter. I didn’t need to be calm, I needed to be bold. And the other things we needed in this season, God has provided them all. Ever heard, “God doesn’t call the equipped, he equips the called”? We are walking it, and let me tell you, it’s truth. Who would have thought that God would teach us most about His plan and provision for us, when we face the most unexpected, unplanned and scary news?

Two weeks in and I’m wearing out this nasty blue band on my wrist. It tells everyone that I’m supposed to be here. Then I overheard a nurse explain to a trainee, “blue means foster parent.” Instantly my heart got heavy. So everyone in here knows right when they look at us that this child is in foster care. That he doesn’t “belong” to me. That I’m not his “real” mom. I told Peter how upset it made me. Then he said that actually he kind of loved that. He said, “You know what, that’s awesome. Because now everyone knows that you don’t have to be there, that you choose to be there.” The parents fighting like crazy and advocating for their boy, just met him two months ago. How about that? Sometimes Peter sees this Holy perspective before I do. And I’m so thankful he does!

Maybe you’re thinking about foster care and it scares you when you see all the needs these amazing kids have. Maybe you already are a foster parent and you’re asking yourself if you can handle all of it. Maybe your life has nothing to do with foster care but you’re facing your own struggles. Let me remind you, you only need to be exactly who God made you to be, to accomplish the things that God intended you to accomplish. He does the rest. He gives you what you need before you know you need it. In the midst of the chaos, it’s as simple as that. Can you do it? Apparently, you can.

We want to introduce you to our son, Geo. He came to us on Friday. We don’t know how long he will be with us, but we are happy to give him a safe and loving home for however long he needs us.

Many of you have heard Peter and me talk about the immense need for foster families in Phoenix. Our hearts have been stirred to open up a bed for many reasons, but we realize that someone has to step up for these kids in need. The truth is that we had not intended to take another placement for a little while. Foster Care is a crazy ride. Maybe it would have been “nice” to have a season to enjoy Pearl’s adoption and not be tied to the system for a minute. Sure, we would have enjoyed a little quiet.

But when we look into our boy’s eyes, we can’t imagine missing this for the sake of things being a little easier. Cuz, lets be real, nothing is easy about foster care. When we signed up for this life, we resolved that it’s wasn’t about us, or having the perfect family. Kids in care come from trauma. They need adults to model love, healthy boundaries and to make them feel safe and wanted. They are absolutely going to test us, challenge us and ask us through their actions: is there anything I can do that will make you not love me? For the record, there isn’t.

Please pray for Geo. He is a sweet and sensitive little boy with so much love to give. He’s hurting but he is happy too! Pray for Pearl as she adjusts to a new normal and processes all this change! Pray for Peter and me as we love our kids and learn them too. We know we did the right thing in opening up our home and hearts again. It’s still hard, but we know that we can give Geo what we gave Birdie, Tinky, Sweet Bee and Pearl… love, security, a safe place to put all their hurt and lots of fun along the way.